A controversial opinion as to why suicide is an option.
Every time we hear of someone committing suicide due to a mental illness, the first thing we say is why didn’t they reach out and talk. Truth is, so many of us reach out for help and confide in people we think loves us and cares for us just to be made out as crazy or a joke. The instinct for us is there to say these things but its never truly meant.
Mental illnesses have become more complex and more difficult to cure due to the various ways society must push us down on the daily. Society has created this stigma around certain mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, personality disorders, bipolar disorder etc. The picture is painted that you should stay away from these people, that they are ugly and will ruin your life. If you look carefully, we are all around you. We are nice, we care, we are giving, and we are soft little people.
Every now and again the truth slips out and the ones we have brought into our lives realise we have a serious mental illness. The more they want to know, the more we tell them, the more they distance themselves from us. Famous last words: “I am here for you”, “I will support you”, “I am only a phone call away”. Theses are the words we hear every so often before they disappear or tell us that we are too much, and they have their own lives to deal with. We don’t mean to interfere, we just wish there was a pill that could magically fix us or something we could do to not feel this way anymore.
Here is the day of a person living with a serious personality disorder with 2 co-existing disorders (anxiety and depression).
I wake up in the mornings and feel good about the day ahead. I sip my coffee and think about all the great things I will accomplish. Set my goals and get ready for a productive day ahead. Five minutes after leaving the house, the usual tingling in your arms start and your heart is racing. Just another panic attack, they come regularly now, why worry? I overthink every single detail of my outfit, jewellery and make up as I make my way to work, causing a spike in my anxiety. By the time I arrive at work I am exhausted from fighting my anxiety. I sit down at my desk and go through my daily schedule. My first meeting starts and so does the acting. The acting I have perfected since the day I was diagnosed with depression. Smiling and waving, saying positive things and being the most positive person, the client has ever seen. Keeping it together is a real challenge but it provides me with a sense of accomplishment.
12 o’clock, working through a heap of work, I can’t help but to let my mind wander off. What is he up to? Why hasn’t he replied? Was that status aimed at me? He promised he will always be there for me. What will happen if I phone him/her now just to cry? I get lost in these thoughts and the smallest of altercations leads to tears. I need to focus. I need to work harder and stop my thoughts for trailing off. Home time pulls around. I make sure I have enough work to keep me busy until I fall asleep. I get home, gym, eat and start work. The work I brought home wasn’t enough though. Scrolling through my contact to a few people who always said to me, I am more than welcome to talk to them if I am feeling down, lonely or sad. Soon enough you get the all so familiar reply of they are busy or sometimes even get ignored. I spend my night watching comedies and getting my hopes up for absolutely nothing. This is my Monday. Tuesdays are rough. People have their own issues. Not really interested in me, they carry on with the normal small talk.
It crosses my mind more than once a day, what will life be like if I wasn’t here? After 12 psychologists and a ton of medication, there still isn’t a cure. Relationships don’t last longer than a few months and I end up alone 110% of the time. One day I will wake up, one day I will wake up and end the pain suffering.
Suicide is an option. The people who suffer the most and have the so called “support” are ignored, get told that they over react, they are crazy, and they are selfish. We don’t really want to go down the road of killing ourselves. We just want to end the pain, the suffering, the jokes that are made behind our backs.
The latest is people taking you away from things you love because its “better” for you. We are top of our class, always. Why? Because without a sufficient work load to keep our thoughts at bay, we will snap, we will end it all. Discrimination is frowned upon when you bring race and disabilities to the table but is never frowned upon when employers discriminate against mental illnesses.
People with serious mental illnesses usually find comfort in things that can never leave them. These things are work, obsession with games or even writing. Take that away and you have a suicide on your hands. Yes, we might have pulled the trigger, but you gave us no other option.
Making fun of someone and telling them that they should just go drink their problems away like adults, you are the reason that person loses all hope and faith in humanity. Your words will echo in that person’s head forever. We are not taken seriously. We reach out for help and still get made fun of.
The next time a friend or a loved one commits suicide, don’t ask why they never spoke to you about their problems. They did, you just chose to never to them. They saw suicide as the only option. The only viable option they have left. Your jokes and impoliteness has caused a person to end their lives to stop the pain. To stop the jokes and to stop the endless feeling of being alone.
This is an opinion of a controversial nature. Feel free to like, comment and share this post.
Follow us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/thedailyraveblog